You're Engaged! Now What??

December 09, 2017  •  Leave a Comment

Congratulations on your engagement!  This is such an exciting time :-)  Once you start wedding planning, it will be a whirlwind, so definitely take a few days or weeks to simply enjoy the feeling of being engaged...  and possibly having a new ring on your finger?! ;-)

  • Budget

Once you feel ready to take on the task of wedding planning, start with figuring out a budget for you and your future spouse.  Take a look at your regular monthly income and expenses, and see where you can save a little each month to set aside money specifically for your wedding.  Once you figure out you can save X dollars each month for X months, that's your budget!  For example, if you can set aside $300 each month and you plan a two year engagement, you'll have $7,200 for your wedding budget.  That will give you a starting point for how many people you can invite, based on your feasible budget.  The cost of wedding expenses varies based on location throughout the country, so keep that in mind and try not to compare your budget with someone else's, who may be planning in an area with very different costs.

  • Guest List

Make a tentative guest list of all the people you'd like to invite with your significant other.  The number of people on this list will be important when deciding on a venue, when it comes to the capacity of the venue and price per person.  Also check with the people you care most about being able to attend your wedding, to ensure they are available on dates you're considering, as well as traveling to your wedding location (if planning an out of town wedding).

After you figure out what you can afford for your wedding budget and have a realistic guest list, look into the "big ticket" vendors...

  • Venue

Start with the venue - decide where you'd like to get married.  You need a venue before you can actually set a date.  Questions to consider about the venue...

  • How many people can the venue accommodate?
  • Where are the ceremony and reception locations...  Are they in the same place?  Are they far apart?
  • Will the wedding be outdoors [take into account the time of year and weather]?  If outdoors, is there a backup plan?
  • What is included in the venue pricing?  Is catering included?  Tables, linens, chairs?  Decor?
  • How many hours would be included in your venue package?  Is there a possibility anyone else will be having an event the same day/time?
  • What are the terms of the contract?  Read the contract carefully, including cancellation terms, before signing!
  • If you're having an outdoor or backyard wedding, your "venue" will be become a bit more complicated with tent and equipment rentals, as well as building everything from the ground up - start planning early!

  • Officiant

Once you have a venue set, you have a date, and then you can look for someone to officiate your wedding.  The most important thing (and pretty much the only thing) you need to actually get married is an officiant.

  • Is the officiant licensed to marry you in your city/state?

  • Catering

If your venue doesn't provide in-house catering (or if you want to and are allowed to hire an outside caterer), you'll need to search for a caterer.  Ask family and friends for recommendations on caterers they've used that had delicious food!  Or search online in your area for the type of food you're looking to have at your wedding and then set up some tastings - Mmm!

  • Photographer

Obviously I'm a little biased ;-) but I think photography is one of the most important wedding vendors and expenses.  Great photographers get booked early - months (or years) in advance!  Search online for photographers in your area and ask family and friends if they have recommendations for photographers they love, and then start reaching out to some of them whose work you love.

  • What is your preferred style of photography?  Do you prefer a more candid, documentary style?  Or do you prefer a photographer who does more posed/styled shots?  There is nothing wrong with either choice, but each photographer has his or her own style, and this will help you narrow down your options.
  • Make sure to view FULL GALLERIES of events and sessions!  Anyone can post their best photos online in a portfolio, but you want to view full galleries so you get a better idea of what an entire event or session looks like, and you'll have a good sampling of the types of photos you might receive for your day.
  • Videographer

A videographer is often an optional splurge, but if you can afford to have videography in addition to photography, I highly recommend it!  It's such a different way of re-living your wedding day than looking through photos :-)  Videographers may also get booked far in advance, so start researching early.

  • DJ/Musician

Great DJs and musicians also get booked far in advance, so start searching and asking for recommendations early.  A DJ can make or break a reception, so choose one who you trust to keep the celebration going for hours!

  • Wedding Planner/Coordinator

There are different kinds of wedding planners and coordinators.  Some venues will have a coordinator designated for your wedding, which is a nice bonus.  If you're looking for a planner or coordinator outside of your venue, you'll usually have a few different options:  Full planning, partial or month-of planning, or day-of coordination.  Your wedding budget may largely determine if and what planning/coordination service you choose to have, but if you can afford it, I would highly recommend a day-of coordinator (if your venue doesn't already provide one)!  A day-of coordinator will allow you to relax and let someone else deal with stress and last minute questions and issues that might arise.

  • Dress Shopping

So many brides want to go out and immediately start dress shopping as a way to celebrate being engaged.  There is nothing wrong with wanting to try on some gowns and have that glowing bride feeling, but don't commit to a dress right away.  Aside from the fact that there may be more important areas you'd like to set money aside for in the beginning, you don't want to end up with "dress regret".  Some brides buy a dress that they LOVE right away, but then a few months later they're questioning their decision - ugh!  Go dress shopping and enjoy it!  Take a few trips to different places with different styles and be sure to find a dress you truly love!

  • Begin wedding dress shopping about 8-12 months before your wedding date.
  • Visit numerous bridal shops.
  • Try on various styles - including styles you might *think* you don't like or don't want!
  • Choose a dress that makes you feel BEAUTIFUL!  Even if it's not the one you initially pictured or the one your family or friends like best, all that matters is that it makes YOU feel like the most beautiful bride! :-)
  • Once you buy your dress, STOP LOOKING at other dresses!  Go back and look at pictures of *your* dress from when you tried it on or when you were at your fittings and reminisce about why you love it, but do not look at other dresses.

  • Florist

If you decide to have floral arrangements for your wedding, start looking at florists in your area.

  • Decide what arrangements you want - Bridal bouquet?  Bridesmaids bouquets?  Mother of the bride and Mother of the groom corsages?  Boutonnieres?  Table centerpieces?  Florals lining the ceremony aisles?  Florals on the arbor?
  • Consider various florist options available, to include grocery stores, warehouse stores and farmers markets, for less expensive options.
  • Consider artificial flowers if you want any of the florals as keepsakes - but keep in mind that realistic and beautiful artificial flowers will likely not be much (if any) less expensive than real flowers.

  • Cake/Bakery

Dessert! Sometimes the highlight of a wedding reception for guests, and sometimes the most fun part of planning for a couple :-)

  • Decide what you want for your wedding dessert at the reception - Cake?  Cupcakes?  Ice cream?  A candy bar?  The options these days are endless!
  • Consider having a "display cake" - a more extravagant cake for the newlyweds to cut - and another (but still delicious) cake option for the guests.
  • Consider various bakery options available, to include grocery stores and warehouse stores, for less expensive (but still delicious!) options, such as sheet cakes.

  • Hair & Makeup

Some brides insist on doing their own hair and/or makeup for their wedding day.  If you have an excellent hand at doing formal hair and makeup to begin with and you don't mind the added stress of the day, then go for it.  This is one area though that's nice to be pampered with on your big day, especially after all the hecticness and stress leading up to it. 

  • It's important to remember that wedding makeup should be applied a little heavier than day-to-day make up, in order to make your wedding day glow shine even more in photos :-)
  • Don't forget to do trials for both hair and makeup!  You want to be sure you LOVE your hair and makeup artists' styles before you walk down the aisle.

  • Accommodations (Hotel, Transportation, etc.)

Is your wedding out of town for a lot of guests?  Don't forget to make a room block at a nearby hotel for guests to stay at.  Some hotels will also provide a discounted rate for those booking under the room block.  How far away from the hotel from your venue?  Consider booking a shuttle for your guests so they don't have to worry about getting to and from the venue, especially if they've had some drinks to celebrate.  If you're not providing transportation, have the names and phone numbers of some local taxi companies available for guests to call if needed.

  • Bridal/Wedding Party

A bridal party obviously isn't a vendor you need to book, but it's an important topic I wanted to mention because it's another area couples can get caught up in in the early stages of wedding planning.  Try to remember that you do not *need* a bridal party.  It's perfectly possible and acceptable to get married with just the two of you standing at the alter and an officiant pronouncing you as newlyweds!  I'll let you in on a little secret...  Not everyone even likes being in weddings!  Not having a bridal party doesn't mean your family and friends don't mean the world to you; it just means they get to attend as beloved guests and don't have the added stress that often comes with being in a wedding party.  If you do choose to have a bridal party, pick just a few people you really cannot imagine not standing at the alter with you.  Oftentimes, as soon as a couple gets engaged, they want to share the news with everyone and are eager to ask their closest friends to be bridesmaids or groomsmen.  I highly recommend not asking anyone to be in your bridal party until about 6-8 months before the wedding.  Sometimes friendships and relationships change.  I've heard many times that a bride and bridesmaid or maid of honor had a falling out and now the bride doesn't want that person in the wedding.  It can make for some very uncomfortable situations (and once you ask someone to be in your wedding, you cannot un-ask them without damaging the relationship for good).  Bottom line - Don't feel obligated to ask all (or any) of your "close" friends or family members, and don't worry if the numbers on each side of the wedding party aren't even - that's okay!  The only people in the bridal party that are needed are the couple themselves :-)

  • All the details!

Some of the most important and fastest booking wedding vendors are listed above, but there are a LOT more things to remember for your budget and to do when planning your wedding.  Here are some other things to keep in mind as you plan...

  • Rings.  Don't forget to talk about what each of you would like in your wedding bands and include both ring costs in your budget.
  • Tuxedo.  A bridal gown will definitely not be overlooked when planning ;-) but don't forget that if there is a groom involved, include his tuxedo in your budget.
  • Equipment rentals (photobooth, lighting options, etc.).  Keep track of extra, optional rentals that would be nice to have, so you can later determine if you have enough to splurge on them.
  • Save the dates and invitations.  Save the dates aren't required, so you can save a bit of money by not sending those.  Depending on how fancy you go, invitations can get quite expensive.  Try looking at sites like Vistaprint, Zazzle, and Basic Invite (you can save 30% and get free shipping on BasicInvite.com if you use my name - RACHELLANGERHANS - as a promo code)!
  • Stamps and postage for invitations are also often forgotten when budgeting.
  • Tips.  Tips for services quickly add up!  And it's one of those little things couples often forget to include in their budget, so start stashing away some cash in envelopes ahead of time (and then give the tips to your coordinator or a trusted family member to hand out on your wedding night).
  • Favors.  Favors also aren't necessary.  Many people aren't fans of personalized favors (for example, with the name of the couple and date of the wedding) and leave those items behind, so it's often a waste of money.  If you want to do favors, consider something edible - who doesn't like a sweet treat to take with them?! :-)
  • Decorations and small details.  You might think going out and buying a few doilies here or a few candles there won't hurt, but it definitely adds up!  Try to include a "miscellaneous" category ahead of time for all the (unexpected) little things you'll buy along the way.

   

Woo! That was a LOT of information, wasn't it?! Although I tried to make the list above as comprehensive as possible, it's by no means all-inclusive.  There will always be things that pop up during wedding planning, and there will also be some vendors that are more important than other vendors for each couple.  What you choose to set as priorities for your wedding will be unique to you and your significant other.  The most important thing is that you communicate as a couple, set your budget for something you can realistically achieve, and then plan the most beautiful wedding that is true to both of you and your love for one another!  And don't forget to enjoy being engaged for a little, before jumping full speed into wedding planning! ;-)

Do you have other helpful suggestions for wedding planning?  What are some must-have vendors and wedding items for you?  Feel free to comment and share so other brides and grooms can learn from your experience as well!  Do you need more help with wedding planning?  Feel free to send me a message to chat more - I love talking about wedding plans! :-)

Congratulations on your engagement, brides and grooms!  Happy wedding planning! :-)


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